the negotiator

Frankie had a little cold today and was a messy sneezing pile of mucous. No fever but messy. She sneezed and needed a clean-up crew approximately every 6 minutes. I kept her home from school; we did errands and went to the science museum to keep her from vegging in front of the tube. While we were eating a snack in the late afternoon we talked:

Frankie: Papa, I want M&M's.
Me: Eat your fruit, carrots and bacon (balance you know) and on our way home, we'll stop at Giant Eagle for some fruit and I'll get you some M&M's.
Frankie: And I will eat them.
Me: No, you can have a few before dinner, and, if you eat a good dinner you can have more after.
Frankie: How about buying two bags then? One for before dinner and one for after?
Me: Eat your food now, please.
Frankie: Can I have M&M's now?
Me: Eat your food now, please.
Frankie: Can we get two bags of M&M's?
Me: Don't change the subject, eat your fruit now and I'll buy ONE bag of M&M's on the way home.
Frankie: Why don't you buy a bag of M&M's here and then I'll eat the fruit.
Me: fuming silently in the sticky humid weather completely exasperated

... Frankie finally eats, we leave and on the way go a few more rounds about the M&M's. We hit the Giant Eagle for fruit and a box of cereal and the damn M&M's. We get to the cereal isle and she starts pleading for Lucky Charms.

Me: No. Alright, you pick one that's reasonably healthy and I pick one.
Frankie: Ok.

So she picks frosted Mini-Wheats. And, they're frigging PINK! Apparently I didn't place enough restrictions on her choice and she found the only "healthy" cereal in the store that was pink! About to lose it, I cut my losses and just decided to get the cereal while I got a crappy fiber-filled box of something.

And, on the way out, we got the M&M's - after searching every rack for the ones without peanuts. Ugh.

All this to keep her from watching a few hours of television.